The Highest Good? What is that? Is it that within yourself and others that resonates as joy, love,compassion, forgiveness,celebration, acceptance. It is trust in the beauty of yourself as the beauty of others. They are one. If you have intellectually have followed a spiritual path, you have heard all of this before. To feel this on of the visceral and emotional level is unique. I trust that no matter what someone’s background experience,pain,reservations that this loving abundant truth lives within them all. These days, for me the most painful and challenging thing is to not believe, feel, trust and experience the highest good within humanity. To dumb down my truth, this truth that all are beautiful, worthy and have value is painful. (It actually physically hurts.) When I feel this state I create a world in which people “don’t get it.” and the lot of you is bunch of insensitive assholes who will treat my vulnerability and expression with judgement and forms of aggression ranging from awkwardness to negative criticism. I find that I numb myself from the feelings of joy of what I love to do and the fear of not doing it. An apathetic complacency arises and isolation in the cave and solace of the internet begins. The truth is I’M THE ASSHOLE WHO DOESN’T GET IT!

There is a song by a band I love, Grizzly Bear called “While You Wait For The Others.” The first line is “While you wait for the others…To make it all worthwhile.” This line always sticks with me. It is the experience of the fear or approval of others that keeps us trapped. It has kept me trapped. I still express myself and I still feel my heart’s purpose deep within AND I feel this feeling I express to you now.

Some people’s response is “Fuck it! Who Cares what people think?” And while this response can fuel the fire and moves can come from this energy it still looks at others as opposition. What I feel most move to do is this life is to passionately express and keep the value and beauty of myself and other deep in my heart and radically express when I feel it is obscured. My love of people is so strong and at times I feel afraid to show it. When my heart is open, the devotional tears are flowing and the divine chuckles are erupting there are no other’s to wait for. It is All Me, You,Us, God, Nothing… And It’s Beautiful.

In Love and In Joy,

Evan

Being on a train across the country is a perfect way to settle back into being in the states. It feels good to be home. I love America and I always have. The trip to Ethiopia and Kenya, gives me a profound sense of gratitude for every aspect of my life here. Particularly my relationships and the abundance within and without. I know, love and am loved by some remarkable and beautiful people. I love my city, Seattle and I love the world around me. Rooting in this the knowing, like rooting in the Self, brings a beauty to all experiences. This trip has hit me, in a warm and effortlessly exciting way. What amazes me, is the constancy of having to go far away to realize the importance of home. And yes, home ultimately is wherever you are, I don’t think the truth of that resonates until one celebrates who they are and where they come from in all aspects. Oftentimes,those with artistic, social or political concern encounter suffering and devalue the possessions or joy they have in an attempt to identify with the experience of those who are or those we perceive as suffering.

I feel the most immediate lessons in from travels thus far, is gratitude. My life is beautiful and abundant in every way in needs to be right now. I can’t hold the abundance of life against myself in anyway. I feel that where we are in America and all the abundance here even amidst the poverty and imbalance very much here, we must look at the abundance all around with an earnestness to share. Commiseration no matter how well-intended doesn’t heal the imbalance of care and the world’s resources. Compassion and valuing all we have is paramount. Yes, it is a matter of perspective, but devalue what we have because others have less is pointless. Value what you have and share it in recognition of your shared humanity. A thought, some cash, a meal, a hug, some music, words. Share and value what you have.

In Love and In Joy,

Evan

Gondar was a beautiful experience. I felt we all bonded deeper than we had on any part of the trip. The people in Gondar were warm and very beautiful. The shows we played there were awesome. The creativity channeled at its most pure created the experience of a partying with the people whether we were on the terrace of our hotel or outside in front of the historic castle playing for 200 folks. Both experiences were profoundly moving. And in all of this beauty and challenges a wise, kind and loving boy named Yusef is what I will I remember most about Gondar. We met Yusef on our way to the take a tour of the 1000 year old castle in the center of town. The boy became our tour guide and accompanied us the majority of our time in Gondar. Yusef was an 11 year old boy who looked about 6 or 7. He had a beauty of spirit and was constantly being the playful and silly 11 year old boy he was, constantly reflecting the intensity of love that we couldn’t help but show him. I had a special bond with Yusef as he would constantly give me spontaneous hugs and say to me “You are my brother.”

The day we left Gondar we had to leave at 5am. A school day Yusef showed up to our hotel to say his goodbyes to all of us. I picked him up and gave him a big embrace he said to me again, “You are my brother.” As my eyes welled-up I echo back to him the same sentiment. As we drove off, I looked at young Yusef walking off with a timeless dignity and nobility beyond his years.

These days, even the most subtle agenda can be a bit trying. Before I continue on, I am not saying that having plans, intent and direction is a bad thing, it is a very good thing that can keep you focused on one’s intent and purpose. Sometimes though, it can obscure the flow of the natural spontaneous order being experienced here and now. My best moments on this trip have been when I simply rest in Being here, letting the environment and moment merge with my intent to enjoy myself, the people and my surroundings. Sometimes, the agendas of well-intentioned travelers can feel… Oppressive. (in the most benign and light hearted way) We all want to enjoy ourselves, no doubt. And oftentimes, we think that is the things we do alone that bring this enjoyment. For me, just the unfamiliar surrounding is enough to evoke excitement and enjoyment. Just watching, feeling and observing my emotions, thoughts is moving enough, and anything else is icing on the cake. I have noticed myself, become subtly annoyed with imposition of agenda or should on this trip. It feels unnatural, forced and contrived and the actions that arise out of those feelings feel the same. This experience is something I have noticed on this trip. So often, my most moving and heart-opening experience arises in the solitude of appreciation of myself and others independently of the environment. The attractions or customs of the city are conduits for this connection not the means unto themselves.

Distinction and discernment are two favorite words of mine. Distinction is a word that brings together the aspects of uniqueness and quality. When I desire to experience the culture or unique aspects of a people or individual this word distinction is always on my mind. The distinction of a culture or individual human being I revel in experiencing. For this experience to flow in the most enriching way, I feel must be open to their edges yet rooted in the truth own’s one value and worth. This is where discernment comes. I experience discernment to be judgement free from negativity rooted in the understanding of self and the curiosity of others. Travelling with other people can be trying because of stories(however valid at times rooted in fear and distrust of others. “You better be careful”is a story. “You can’t trust these people” is a story. Yes, it is wise to be mindful of all the conditions of your surroundings and environment, but oftentimes distrust can create a cautiousness based of a mental apparition not the reality at hand. Discernment and openness are higher are upgrades of cynicism and gullibility. Cynicism hardens the heart, reduces the intuitive faculties and devalues self and the environment in order to be comfortable with an experience. Gullibility is openness that looks on the outside for and sacrifices discernment of an environment and the trust of self for the approval of others. This trip has been most enjoyable when I rooted in my curiosity of others and trust of myself.

So, he we are, at the halfway point of this journey.  And so far, so EVERYTHING. I have felt great joy and connection on this trip, I have felt sadness, I have felt numb and completely alone in myself and views on life. I have loved the people here and I have said to hell with them.  I have been very happy to be here and have wanted to go home a number of times as the vibe here at times has felt the farthest from any semblance of home.  One of the things that I have always found challenging is when protocol, politics and the upholding of self-images get in the way of connection and love. This trip has been full of occasions where the essential point of being here becomes overlooked by some kind of agenda. What is the essential point of being here? For me, it is the desire to carry out connection to my fellow human beings to inspire through the sharing of music,togetherness and being. When I first heard about this opportunity to play in Ethiopia at The Music Without Boundaries Festival, I was very excited. I was excited at the title of the festival alone and traveling to somewhere that I have never been before. I envisioned meeting musicians and artists performing in the festival and in Ethiopia. And it has been that and it is has been obscured by politics and protocol. I recognize the importance of adhering to certain formalities but where I draw the line is when the relationship or interaction loses its organic quality and the protocol gets in the way of the essence. For me that essence is play,inspire,connect,love. Repeat. This is what everything I do is about. Reveling in the inherent value and simplicity of Being and watching what unfolds from there.

What I can sense here in Ethiopia is a rapid and exponential development. It feels like the Ethiopia of this moment is drastically different from what it was 6th years ago and this seems to continue everyday even though seems to move very slow here.  The view from my 9th floor balcony hotel is quite poignant. Below,me I can see the swanky recreation area of the Addis Hilton with its lounge, tennis courts and swimming pool. In front of me I can see high rises being built , some in their beginnings others in their early stages. Outside of the gates of The Hilton lies a shanty town where the poor. All this juxtaposed by this epic sight of the natural beauty of the mountains calling forth the majesty of this historic country.

In this moment. I just came from downstairs, a little break from what felt like slight kinks in the flow of my thoughts. I walked around the hotel lobby, went outside and gazed the beautiful sunshine. A little boy said hello and I waved back. I went back inside and the lovely woman who performs the coffee ceremony in the Hilton introduces herself after seeing a couple of performances here in Addis. I am back in my room with a warm smile on my face, with the humorous thought in my head. “What the hell were those last two paragraphs about?” In this moment this trip has been wonderful.

I am writing this blog from a the Hilton in Addis Ababa, a day of rest from a couple days in Harar a beautiful city a short plane ride and drive from Addis. The Harare people are a beautiful bunch. Harar is Islam’s fourth holiest city, here Christians and Muslims exist harmoniously and the people young and old keep a warmth of spirit.

Harar was special. And amidst all of the specialness one experience stands out as a profound, beautiful,heart-opening experience. Before our performances in Harare town center we spent time watching the Harare Grandmothers, adorned in colorful wraps, headdresses and jewelry sing devotional music that evoked dancing from the inside out.
As they approached the middle of their performance, an old Harare man began dancing holding his cane up in the air in celebration. Shortly the old man began dancing, a young girl with down syndrome between the ages of 9 and 11 joined the old man with her own joyous and spirited dance. Watching the two of them dancing together was quite a moving sight, until the man, off put by the little girl for some odd reason raised, his cane to her. Shocked, everyone became alert. The little girl walked away for a brief second and began to dance again. The old man raised his cane at her again, scolding the girl. At this point, I was on the edge on tackling an old Harare man in defense of this sweet being. The girl walked a way again this time with her eyes watering and a little short of breath. And still moved by the music, she began to dance again near the old man. This time the old man, took a full swing of his cane to the girl and almost hit her. At this point the Harare elders, scolded this old man and sat the young girl down away from. As I sat, not to far from her, tears began to roll down my face. She began to cry and cough up saliva, as she had exerted energy both dodging the old mans swings and dancing her heart out. The music was still going at this point, and this little girl with tears in her eyes, and short of breath stood up began to dance with even more passion and vigor than she had the previous times, this act of hers moved me beyond belief as the tears streamed down my face. As the song ended a man gave her some birr and she went on her way.

Recounting this experience both moves me and angers me and I ask myself what if we all were such defiant dancers in this life? What if we risked a little more of ourselves to do what we love to do independent of what happens? This little girl has inspired me more than she probably knows.

The majority of the gigs here in Ethiopia have been on electric bass, in many ways this has been good for me. In my passionate pursuit of deepening my skills on the double bass, sometimes I forget that the electric bass was my first instrument of choice. On this trip, I have had to reclaim my love and enjoyment for this instrument. Here in Addis, there is only one double bass and the one fellow who plays it is unwilling to part with it even for money. It has been challenging not being able to play double bass while I am here, the instrument while not the only conduit to my SELF is indeed a profound one, this is something I realize every time I play. Sometimes, I will go a couple days with out playing and a negative mood will come in, I will go to play the bass, the mood passes and I feel very warm, loving and open. In a subtle way, I feel not having the double bass as an expressive outlet has made what ever challenges I have felt here more dense than usual.

The one time in Addis that I played a double bass was one of our best nights here in town sitting in  at a local jazz club called Alize. Every Thursday at Alize a band called Addis Acoustic, plays a set or two and then opens the set up to friends of theirs. (yes, I found the Addis version of The Hang ; ) )Meklit knew a couple of fellows in the band and they invited us to come down and sit in. We thought that we’d maybe play a tune or two. What ended up happening was a showcase the whole Arba Minch Collective that brought down thehouse in the club that night. It was a great deal of fun to be there and to play “my instrument”.

Playing the electric has definitely been good for me here it has felt to deepen that relationship and feel the need to continue doing so when I return home. These days I am opening myself to the countless expressions that exist within me and putting them out there. The electric bass is one expression that I can’t set aside anymore. This is one of many realizations here on this journey.

In my second, Ethiopia blog I wrote from a place of heartache the at times overwhelming experience encountering and feeling this intensified world within. The feeling is the sadness side of compassion. True sadness. A recognition of shared humanity, feeling the natural inclination to help those who are suffering, from a place of connection. I spoke in my last blog about feeling paralyzed by a cultural condition, the feelings of being a foreigner. Isolation and alienation. What opened this feeling up to the Love that I am and I feel and see within all my family here in Ethiopia. Crying. The tears are very powerful thing. After I ended yesterday’s blog I sat still opened my heart and began to weep. These days if I am not crying the tears of openness and connection something is off. The tears I feel are the tears of everyone, the bridge between our humanity and our limitlessness. The rest of the day followed openly and I brought the self free of the borders of our conditioning open in heart to my family around me, connecting to my fellow musicians from around the world at the table of music and brotherhood. Being moved to the depths of me and realizing the truth the we can change the world through the smallest act of connection.

Ethiopia Blog 2: Donkeys, Strong Coffee and Heartache.

My second day in Ethiopia started off with a nice breakfast of eggs, bread and a couple of cups of strong coffee. Me and couple of fellows, sat out on the veranda at the restaurant next to our lodging and watched folks in Addis begin their days. Business men and women walking to work, young men and boys pedaling brooms, calling cards chewing gum trying to get food in their bellies. A donkey ran down the highway with the flow of the hectic Addis traffic.

This experience here has felt both normal and completely surreal. I feel the energy within me that is at home everywhere and that is a complete foreigner here. At this moment I don’t feel the warm bosom of Mother Africa but the intensification of disconnection to each other. In the states, it is so natural for me to give to people who ask for money on the street but when people here ask me, I become paralyzed by this culture’s disdain for these people especially as it becomes more western here. From my hotel window I can see a woman, across the street holding her child with a tarp over her to protect her from the pouring rain as she sits in the mud. I feel paralyzed. Paralyzed by being a foreigner feeling moved to restore the balance by giving her one hundred birr(Ethiopian Currency) which is a mere $6 out of my pocket but a fortune to her. Then, all these bullshit cultural sensitivity questions come into my mind and I hold back the tears of seeing human injustice to keep appearances as me and my bandmate write our respective blogs. At this moment, this is how I feel and I know it will pass and it will call for me to rise up and be who I am, which in this moment feels like Love. Holding itself back.

So far, this has been a trip that affirms how close we all are to each other how all of the unique aspects of our collective human experience are integrating and merging together. For me, it has been interesting coming from a day in New York City spending time with a dear friend to being on a plane for 12 hours to Ethiopia landing here  encountering the extremes of the conditions here in Ethiopia. The extremes of the entire human condition are transparent and amplified to a great deal of intensity. I have always held in my heart that the conditions of the so-called third world are simply the ignorances of the first world amplified. Also amplified was this indescribable  feeling of humanity and aliveness that I could feel right when I got off the plane even amidst a most sleep deprived state. (This was remedied later  that day )

The evening was ended the spending time at restaurant across from our lodging listening to  music and hanging with folks. The essentials, no better way to start off this magical trip. Body rested, my mind and heart wide, ready to receive and be amplified.