There is a song by a band I love, Grizzly Bear called “While You Wait For The Others.” The first line is “While you wait for the others…To make it all worthwhile.” This line always sticks with me. It is the experience of the fear or approval of others that keeps us trapped. It has kept me trapped. I still express myself and I still feel my heart’s purpose deep within AND I feel this feeling I express to you now.

Some people’s response is “Fuck it! Who Cares what people think?” And while this response can fuel the fire and moves can come from this energy it still looks at others as opposition. What I feel most move to do is this life is to passionately express and keep the value and beauty of myself and other deep in my heart and radically express when I feel it is obscured. My love of people is so strong and at times I feel afraid to show it. When my heart is open, the devotional tears are flowing and the divine chuckles are erupting there are no other’s to wait for. It is All Me, You,Us, God, Nothing… And It’s Beautiful.

In Love and In Joy,

Evan

I feel the most immediate lessons in from travels thus far, is gratitude. My life is beautiful and abundant in every way in needs to be right now. I can’t hold the abundance of life against myself in anyway. I feel that where we are in America and all the abundance here even amidst the poverty and imbalance very much here, we must look at the abundance all around with an earnestness to share. Commiseration no matter how well-intended doesn’t heal the imbalance of care and the world’s resources. Compassion and valuing all we have is paramount. Yes, it is a matter of perspective, but devalue what we have because others have less is pointless. Value what you have and share it in recognition of your shared humanity. A thought, some cash, a meal, a hug, some music, words. Share and value what you have.

In Love and In Joy,

Evan

The day we left Gondar we had to leave at 5am. A school day Yusef showed up to our hotel to say his goodbyes to all of us. I picked him up and gave him a big embrace he said to me again, “You are my brother.” As my eyes welled-up I echo back to him the same sentiment. As we drove off, I looked at young Yusef walking off with a timeless dignity and nobility beyond his years.

Distinction and discernment are two favorite words of mine. Distinction is a word that brings together the aspects of uniqueness and quality. When I desire to experience the culture or unique aspects of a people or individual this word distinction is always on my mind. The distinction of a culture or individual human being I revel in experiencing. For this experience to flow in the most enriching way, I feel must be open to their edges yet rooted in the truth own’s one value and worth. This is where discernment comes. I experience discernment to be judgement free from negativity rooted in the understanding of self and the curiosity of others. Travelling with other people can be trying because of stories(however valid at times rooted in fear and distrust of others. “You better be careful”is a story. “You can’t trust these people” is a story. Yes, it is wise to be mindful of all the conditions of your surroundings and environment, but oftentimes distrust can create a cautiousness based of a mental apparition not the reality at hand. Discernment and openness are higher are upgrades of cynicism and gullibility. Cynicism hardens the heart, reduces the intuitive faculties and devalues self and the environment in order to be comfortable with an experience. Gullibility is openness that looks on the outside for and sacrifices discernment of an environment and the trust of self for the approval of others. This trip has been most enjoyable when I rooted in my curiosity of others and trust of myself.

What I can sense here in Ethiopia is a rapid and exponential development. It feels like the Ethiopia of this moment is drastically different from what it was 6th years ago and this seems to continue everyday even though seems to move very slow here.  The view from my 9th floor balcony hotel is quite poignant. Below,me I can see the swanky recreation area of the Addis Hilton with its lounge, tennis courts and swimming pool. In front of me I can see high rises being built , some in their beginnings others in their early stages. Outside of the gates of The Hilton lies a shanty town where the poor. All this juxtaposed by this epic sight of the natural beauty of the mountains calling forth the majesty of this historic country.

In this moment. I just came from downstairs, a little break from what felt like slight kinks in the flow of my thoughts. I walked around the hotel lobby, went outside and gazed the beautiful sunshine. A little boy said hello and I waved back. I went back inside and the lovely woman who performs the coffee ceremony in the Hilton introduces herself after seeing a couple of performances here in Addis. I am back in my room with a warm smile on my face, with the humorous thought in my head. “What the hell were those last two paragraphs about?” In this moment this trip has been wonderful.

Harar was special. And amidst all of the specialness one experience stands out as a profound, beautiful,heart-opening experience. Before our performances in Harare town center we spent time watching the Harare Grandmothers, adorned in colorful wraps, headdresses and jewelry sing devotional music that evoked dancing from the inside out.
As they approached the middle of their performance, an old Harare man began dancing holding his cane up in the air in celebration. Shortly the old man began dancing, a young girl with down syndrome between the ages of 9 and 11 joined the old man with her own joyous and spirited dance. Watching the two of them dancing together was quite a moving sight, until the man, off put by the little girl for some odd reason raised, his cane to her. Shocked, everyone became alert. The little girl walked away for a brief second and began to dance again. The old man raised his cane at her again, scolding the girl. At this point, I was on the edge on tackling an old Harare man in defense of this sweet being. The girl walked a way again this time with her eyes watering and a little short of breath. And still moved by the music, she began to dance again near the old man. This time the old man, took a full swing of his cane to the girl and almost hit her. At this point the Harare elders, scolded this old man and sat the young girl down away from. As I sat, not to far from her, tears began to roll down my face. She began to cry and cough up saliva, as she had exerted energy both dodging the old mans swings and dancing her heart out. The music was still going at this point, and this little girl with tears in her eyes, and short of breath stood up began to dance with even more passion and vigor than she had the previous times, this act of hers moved me beyond belief as the tears streamed down my face. As the song ended a man gave her some birr and she went on her way.

Recounting this experience both moves me and angers me and I ask myself what if we all were such defiant dancers in this life? What if we risked a little more of ourselves to do what we love to do independent of what happens? This little girl has inspired me more than she probably knows.

The one time in Addis that I played a double bass was one of our best nights here in town sitting in  at a local jazz club called Alize. Every Thursday at Alize a band called Addis Acoustic, plays a set or two and then opens the set up to friends of theirs. (yes, I found the Addis version of The Hang ; ) )Meklit knew a couple of fellows in the band and they invited us to come down and sit in. We thought that we’d maybe play a tune or two. What ended up happening was a showcase the whole Arba Minch Collective that brought down thehouse in the club that night. It was a great deal of fun to be there and to play “my instrument”.

Playing the electric has definitely been good for me here it has felt to deepen that relationship and feel the need to continue doing so when I return home. These days I am opening myself to the countless expressions that exist within me and putting them out there. The electric bass is one expression that I can’t set aside anymore. This is one of many realizations here on this journey.

My second day in Ethiopia started off with a nice breakfast of eggs, bread and a couple of cups of strong coffee. Me and couple of fellows, sat out on the veranda at the restaurant next to our lodging and watched folks in Addis begin their days. Business men and women walking to work, young men and boys pedaling brooms, calling cards chewing gum trying to get food in their bellies. A donkey ran down the highway with the flow of the hectic Addis traffic.

This experience here has felt both normal and completely surreal. I feel the energy within me that is at home everywhere and that is a complete foreigner here. At this moment I don’t feel the warm bosom of Mother Africa but the intensification of disconnection to each other. In the states, it is so natural for me to give to people who ask for money on the street but when people here ask me, I become paralyzed by this culture’s disdain for these people especially as it becomes more western here. From my hotel window I can see a woman, across the street holding her child with a tarp over her to protect her from the pouring rain as she sits in the mud. I feel paralyzed. Paralyzed by being a foreigner feeling moved to restore the balance by giving her one hundred birr(Ethiopian Currency) which is a mere $6 out of my pocket but a fortune to her. Then, all these bullshit cultural sensitivity questions come into my mind and I hold back the tears of seeing human injustice to keep appearances as me and my bandmate write our respective blogs. At this moment, this is how I feel and I know it will pass and it will call for me to rise up and be who I am, which in this moment feels like Love. Holding itself back.

The evening was ended the spending time at restaurant across from our lodging listening to  music and hanging with folks. The essentials, no better way to start off this magical trip. Body rested, my mind and heart wide, ready to receive and be amplified.